Dating experiences thread


#45

Didn’t read the whole thread, but I was married for ten years and have a child. We were pretty wild back in the day with threesomes and foursomes and shit, but it only bit us in the ass and lead to fights.

Had a couple of romantic flings since then, but nothing serious.

I like dating! I like the flirtatious remarks and the smell of light perfume. I like having chemistry with people, but at the same time, I don’t understand the attraction some people have with each other. For example, I don’t understand why my musical friend was attracted to a dude with three kids who has no interest in music (aaaaand, they’re recently broken up). Who knows? UPDATE: they’re now back together! Again, who the hell knows…

I feel like some people have to define themselves by having a relationship. People want the touch of another human, which is understandable. And yeah, sex, kissing, touching…all of that is fun stuff! But man…some of the choices people make…

I know many types of people. People who are happily married, people who are…unhappily married, people happily dating, happy singles, people dealing with relationship shit, divorced, etc.

As I’ve posted in the Pandemic thread, I’ve been hanging out with a lady who I’ve got a massive crush on, and eventually that’s gotta be addressed, but I’m not gonna cry myself to sleep at night if she’s not interested. We got good rapport, which is pretty rare. I do have a sex toy after all, lol!

I dunno…I don’t have much else to say beyond that. :stuck_out_tongue:


#46

I got asked out by a bank teller last year, but just at the worst time in the middle of my busy season. So that didn’t happen, and I didn’t hear from her again. I guess she thought I was supposed to just drop everything for a woman I barely know (as in she had served me twice at the bank and maybe spoken to me for 10 minutes when she slides me her number on a receipt) at the last minute - like text me at 3 that she wants to meet at Starbucks (which one?) at 7 and I’m in the middle of a meeting. Hard no. No actually, I did tell her yes and to let me know which one, then by 6 she hadn’t said anything so I told her raincheck and then just never heard from her again.

So, didn’t really like her style, but I figured I’d make it a point to get out and do more than just run errands and it should be easy enough to meet a woman more my type (who can commit to scheduling something a few days in advance perhaps). And then this year happened. So I guess I play synths, study art/design, and work from home now. Still single, but I can kinda draw a car now, so that’s cool.


#47

Yea fuck that. I aint down w that flakey shit.


#48

Ha! Yeah, a friend of mine had a date planned a bit ago, and his date just “forgot about it.” He had the whole thing scheduled, even in the midst of this pandemic crap.

There’s a super cute lady who works at the local pharmacy that I always talk to. I always joked that wearing masks brings out the sexiness in a person’s eyes (Lived in Japan). :joy: I’ve gotten to know quite a few people just through eye interactions over the past however many months.


#49

What? You got a bank teller to slide you her number? Fucking swag shit right there.


#50

I have my moments.


#51

You know, my pharmacists are some of my favorite women in my area - smart, educated, pretty, know exactly how to take care of my diabetes (well, I can take or leave that last one, but it would sure put my parents at ease if I ever move out). But one of my hard and fast rules in dating is that you don’t date someone you do business with, and the women who sell me my life-enabling drugs and associated paraphernalia - to me - constitute women I do business with. Plus they all know my mom, like really well.

Actually, I have this thing about women I like and my mom - they all end up turning into her. Wait, hear me out on this -

Really cool girl in college, we get along great, never a dull moment, nothing in conversation off the table. I realize that the reason this is working so well is that whenever I don’t know what to say, I say what I would to my mom. Oh no. That ended.

Next girl I meet in college, two years later. Smoking hot sorority readhead volleyball player. I asked her out, and she wasn’t against it, just way too busy. I looked her up earlier this year, because she wandered into my mind, and I thought it’d be nice to try if she was still available. This girl has a master’s in education, and is working at the same school as my mom teaching. Dude. I tell my mom and she’s like “oh yeah that’s young me how do you know her?”. Oh no not this again.

I’ve decided to take the many and often subtle hints I got from the nice foreign exchange students in school and I’m looking for a nice asian girl who I do not work with now. I’d like to see one of them turn into my mom. Good luck, she’s from Minnesota and her maiden name was Milberg.


#52

^Ha! Got that Yellow Fever! And here I thought you were a Good Christian Boy…

I dated a smoking hot redhead once…stay away from them. :grin:

Also, stay away from gals with mommy or daddy issues…


#53

Off the dating scene since quite a few years, but I’m gonna play a bit of Oedipus here with regard to the mommy similarity issues :smiley: :

Imho, generally speaking, and not considering exceptions, I would say that people, in broad tendency, approximately tend to like at least some qualities of their moms. Imho, if you like your mom and find a nice girl that you like, chances are that some of her qualities that you like also remind you of your mom at some point or another. I married a girl that could not have had a more different background, but yeah, she reminds me of my mom now sometimes. ^^

So, to sum up, good luck with that foreign exchange student @White_Noise! :smiley:


#54

The whole mom girlfriend or dad boyfriend thing…depends on the person yes…but also Freud was a coke head.

Imo the Oedipus and electra complex… maybe a false equivalency…cause similar culture, values, traits, ethnicity and personality type like introversion, extraversion, how a person responds to anxiety stress etc…maybe a more in depth reason why certain people are compatible or aren’t.

Not to get all clinical but maybe the Oedipus and electra connection was one of thoughts when a person is high as fuck and thinks they have enlightenment.

But it all depends on the life situation and the person imo.

To put it succinctly.
The similarities a partner shared with a persons parent maybe due to personality type and their culture.

As opposed to the person looking for a clone of their parents as a partner in a relationship.

Also some traits maybe just instinctual parental traits that are more common amongst people across the board than assumed.

Tl;dr

Oedipus and electra = high thoughts
Clone of parents in relationship = correlation does not necessarily mean causation.

Also physical attractiveness is an obvious factor.

Also dad bods.

Disclaimer I am not a psychologist…I just read this stuff WebMD style. Im just a prick with an opinion.


#55

Stating for the record that I would never date somebody who reminds me of my mother or father. :rofl:

Mother: Overly worrisome
Father: Overly worrisome and grumpy, too.

Hey babe, let’s sit around and watch episodes of MASH and The Price is Right and the 100th documentary about John Lennon. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I like spontaneous people, but some people do like routine.


#56

Maybe, but I think that culture is often overrated in this context as a direct influence. For instance, I read some research with authors just assuming basic intrinsic homophily, but I always thought that opportunities, social pressures and perceived expectations were not really accounted for in an adequate way.

I also think that there’s probably a lot of biased perception in this context - if you want to see or focus on differences or similarities to other people, you often can find a lot for any case on some level.


#57

Freud was a coke head is about all I ever needed to know about psychoanalysis LOL That being said, knowing a lot folks in the field through a friend of mine who is a practicing psychologist, lots of people in that field like their substances LOL.

I did indeed used to stay up all night doing coke with this friend who no treats coke heads.


#58

If this dating website could talk…

Days 1-2 “So, you’re interested in women 50 miles away right?”
Days 2-4 “So, you’re interested in women a foot or more shorter than you right?”
Days 5-6 “So you’re interested in women who live in Canada right?”
Today “So you’re interested in women 10-12 years younger than you, right?”


#60

I feel personally attacked. :joy:


#61

I make jokes but we all know I’m gonna wind up dating that 23 year old despite my preferences :laughing:


#62

Ha!


#63

I just remember people on dating websites never wanting to meet or even have a phone conversation. It seemed like 99% of people just wanted someone to chat with online. Which is fine but they kept acting like they wanted to meet eventually.


#64

Is Adult Friend Finder still a thing? Shit got pretty crazy with that.

I lasted 30 min on Tinder years ago. Hit up Grinder if you’re into guys. OK Cupid? Hot Sexy Singles? Wet and Wild Summer Bikini Break?

Xvideos/Redtube - The Cam Dating App for Lusty Rapscallions


#65

The age difference thing got me thinking… I don’t have a lot of personal anecdotes about dating that aren’t from the Clinton era, but I do have one sort of second hand.

A buddy of mine got divorced about 7-8 years ago. He’s a smart guy, very successful, fit, sociable, a real catch. He ends up bringing around his new girlfriend, who’s a 22 year old art student. She was beautiful, apparently very talented, very social, well spoken and thoughtful, etc etc. I’m thinking “good on you, found you someone simpatico”. I mean, it’s probably daddy issues or looking for a ride on the boat or something, but rebound is rebound.

She comes over for dinner, the discussion turns to music (friend and I played in bands and produced music way back when), and it ends up she doesn’t know who the Rolling Stones are. Like, doesn’t know that’s the name of a band. She also couldn’t name a single Beatles song. I’m gobsmacked, my wife is gobsmacked, my friend is gobsmacked and a bit embarrassed.

Now, I abhor the Rolling Stones on a lot of levels, and I’d rather trepan myself with a soup spoon than listen to them, but to not know who they are? We’re not talking about “do you know any of the lyrics off Nirvana’s Bleach” or some sort of dated esoteric musical knowledge - she didn’t know that was a band, much less one of the biggest and most successful bands of the 20th century.

It ended up there were a lot of things like that she had no clue about if it was older than her. She was basically too young and inexperienced to have a relatable conversation with about much of anything we cared about, so we ended up talking about art (which I’m not at all into but, unlike her, can talk about), because it was pretty much the only thing she had any sort of conversable general knowledge in as far as we could tell. The relationship didn’t last long after that for a myriad of reasons, but a lot of it centered around the fact that he’d been through the world and she was just getting started in it.

That’s not really a knock on her personally, more the age difference. At some point I have to think that the benefits of having a young, bright-eyed significant other are outweighed by the yoke of disparate life experience. At my age, I have to figure I’d go for the worn out old timer that gets it over the young perky one that doesn’t have a chance at understanding me.