Fred Durst (the real one) is in trouble and he needs your help!
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. My band is a lazy pile of shit who doesn’t seem to want to make new music. In fact, the last album we ‘put out’ was just me leaking it on the internet because nobody else cared to do it” says Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit frontman and all-around good guy. “So basically, I’m coming up with new material on my own now, but it’s not as easy as it sounds”.
“I learned how to play EXTREMELY BASIC nu-metal riffs, in the style of my band (without the help fro LezBoredland, fuck that guy) but that’s all I have so far. No drummer, no bassist, NOTHING ELSE. I need to cut a single now so I can send it to BET and maybe get played on their channel like old times”.
Fred continues: “I need you to build a song around my guitars. ANY STYLE WILL DO. PLEASE HELP ME! Also, I’ll do vocals later but let’s not even worry about that part. I need a SONG and a SOUND!”
Rules:
Fred’s guitars have to be a major part of the sound. Fred has a bit of an ego problem, so he really wants to hear himself in the mix. Otherwise, you can use all the creative freedom to warp, stretch, or de-genrefy the song entirely, adding literally anything else to the song. “Just make me sound good, don’t make me sound gay” he says. Not every stem needs to be used, either.
The track needs to be a standard 3-5 minute affair. “How else do you expect me to get played on BET?” asks our retarded friend FD, who is seemingly losing touch with reality.
Use the ‘Readme’ file to slect your difficulty. There’s no wrong way to use this pack, but for those who want to go deeper into re-amping, it’s all yours. “Alright, enough of all this nerd talk” says Durst.
(Rule 3 is more a of a tip; all resources are here so you can go as deep as you want)
EDIT - So if anyone that likes hardware is interested, I did record stuff from my DFAM, which you can hear as the odd stuff in the intro. I did a kick drum too but ended up using a kit for the main kick/snare.
Fred durst found a ragtag group of craigslist musicians to make a rendition, however Fred hates the way it sounds and still needs to find a better sound. Fred’s saga continues
Yeah, you do that. But I talked to Fred and he told he me heard all the scene kids are into dj0ntz these days. He told me to put more chinas and 11 string guitars in there and write in odd time signatures, like 2 or 6 (though he’s not really into all the maths and he failed arithmetic in grade school and it’s a painful subject altogether). He’s already busy writing lyrics about space and dodecahedrons and shit. He tried to squeeze into some skinny jeans, but his fat ass split them right down the middle. So he’ll stick with sweatpants and jerseys for now, but make them classy with a red fedora. He will also be changing his name to Fred Djurst for some currently legit cred.
I want to apologise to the whole forum for the existence of this thread. I feel this was all a consequence of certain posts I made and now utterly regret.
You’re apologizing for spawning the best thing that has happened to the forum since its resurrection. That’s how much you secretly hate this space, which we’ve always suspected, but can obviously confirm now.
But auto, I wouldn’t have busted out my trusty SoundCloud record option from my phone. You wear this thread with pride. And vote your favorite, when they’re all done.
Ay yo lil’ biscuits. Ya see i’ve been in-cahoots with the homies at Cash Money Recs, I’ve got my own deal goin down. I don’t need any of that wheely-board bullshit flatbill stuff anymore i’ve got my masks n’ sick jams. The fever’s left and i’m hittin the progression with aggression, keep ya hotdogs and water. I’m out on my own prowl. chekket
(yes the mastering/mixing sucks, what did you expect I had 3 hours and a bad make up job)