you should proud of yourself for putting so much love and effort into something, your art, something that is YOURS. your internal voices can go fuck themselves.
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Yoooooo this has been hitting me the past 5-ish years. I experienced a fuck ton of trama from my mom through out my life. That and working in ISP call centers for years and years in no way helped either. Currently going through shit tons of therapy atm because of it.
Therapy is helping a TON. Highly recommend it. When Covid lockdowns hit - I got lucky. Worked my ass off the whole friggen lock down. Told my self I am going to work my ass off to become who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live. I dropped a ton of what I thought were friendships which turned out to be very good for my mental health.
I also doubled down into things I do love - Electronic Music, and Mental Health. Playing tons and tons of disc golf helped as well.
I used to hate life generally. Not so much anymore.
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Generally speaking I wish more people would realize that the internet is not a safe space/platform to normalize their neurosis.
I have read so much fucked up thoughts expressed over the internet…i was affected by it. I.e. certain subreddits/4chan
People of whom dont know any better would take this stuff as gospel when its really just blind leading the blind…engaging in a circle jerk.
Ive been taking a look at myself…
I guess the first step is to stop making excuses…
And the second step is to change for the better.
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I feel like after being exposed to the collective fuckedupedness consciousness of humanity on the interwebs aka 4chan…
That certain religious texts can be a reality check to the fuckedupedness of the internet because some religious texts are somewhat an ethical codex in regards to human nature…
Disclaimer i dont think religion is to be taken super literally…nor that being super evangelical or religious orthodox is the answer.
Its moreso just one of those things to guide people through the fuckedupedness of life.
They are books of wisdom passed down by our ancestors…and our ancestors may know some of the stuff that they are talking about…
Being that people havent really evolved much from 4000-3000 years ago…
Also belief in god/religious extremism…doesnt necessarily equate to a person being of good character
Might be the opposite most of the time, or just extreme narcissism. I’ve never met an extremely religious person who wasn’t very much convinced that they were the center of the universe, but they might exist somewhere 
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i think it’s a matter of how extreme the views are that they have. I know some very religious christians (not evangelicals) that never push their religion on me are really good people, that aren’t full of themselves, and regularly give back to their communities. however i’ve never met someone that was an extremely religious evangelical that didn’t act like they were better than everyone else and the only right way to live was how they live.
but omg, growing up in Appalachia east Tennessee i was called so many different things by others for being raised catholic. never understood why people that are religious feel a need to tell others how they aren’t living a “good life for god.”
i don’t need an invisible and imaginary sky daddy/mommy to help me through life, but i also have cptsd from a religious upbringing. but i don’t care if others need that belief to make things make sense as long as they aren’t pushing it on others and are living a life that isn’t oppressing others.
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um… new artist name? album name?
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Fell for phishing scam today and had to update some passwords, most notably emails. Working fine on my PC but fuck me the iPhone cannot grasp that these are my new and correct passwords. So now I get to go to the office tomorrow with no ability to check my email all day.
And yes, I am positive I was putting in the correct passwords. I google docced them to my phone before I changed them so I could copy/paste and avoid EXACTLY THIS FUCKING SITUATION.
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aggressive judgemental opinionated power hungry jerks on the internet…
Reasons why i didnt sign up to have a twitter.
Alas meaningless meanderings.
pilonidal cyst’s
I really dislike hypocrites. My dad is a REALLY bad one, and it irritates me every time. I also dislike when people just assume you know something after saying the most outlandish, fever-dream stuff.
oof ouch sorry man 
fuckin n00b 
(jk sry)
Scam was actually really good. Someone had hacked my grandparent’s email, so it came from an address I knew (it didn’t look like their email address, it WAS their email address). And, I often am told last when something is has to do with these grandparents. I kid you not they live halfway across the country and I have been told they’re in town and I’m having dinner with them 30 minutes beforehand. So I found it entirely believable I’d get a wedding invitation forwarded from them with no other context, and that got me.
Anyways, got it fixed with another change of PW.
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Holy shit. How much spying on you do they have to do before performing an attack like that? That’s fucking crazy
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Honestly at least you were simply phished. could have been way worse.
READ THE LINK DESTINATION BEFORE YOU CLICK
some of the amazon scams they got goin on are actually pretty clever. there’s also the one on instagram where the bot makes your profile message your entire friends list with “PLEASE HELP ME I GOT LOCKED OUT, CAN YOU LOG INTO MY PROFILE FOR ME”
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There is some crazy stuff going on. Read about “pig-butchering” scams where people invest months talking to you on social media before money gets involved… Take care everyone!
Good that you got it fixed quickly @White_Noise!
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oh man thanx - I have had a bout with this many years ago alone. It sucked but got through it.
Played a 5 hour DND sesh sitting on a wooden chair with no padding a few weeks ago. Didnt think anything of it. Fast forward to 4 days ago - Started feeling some slight swelling. Sunday it just kept getting worst and worst and growing at a hella fast rate.
I was cooking dinner and right when I was done I started gettin cold chills and super light headed. Me and Angie both were like “uhhhhhh we need to go to the emergency room”.
Went to the ER sunday night around 11. They immediately brought me to the back and started cutting up my back side. That. fucking. hurt. like hell. But they got it and now I have a drain back there for about a week.
Dang you human body. shakes fist
I had one of those attempt to get me last year. Went along with it for like 2 weeks, but it was obvious what was going on in 3-4 days. They were trying to show me their guaranteed crypto gains because this (admittedly attractive woman who was clearly lying about her age) person had an uncle who worked on some exchange or something.
They showed her doing a bunch of charity work and then explained that she made big money in crypto and wanted to give back to her community. I said fair enough, but I have my own portfolio so let’s leave money out of this beautiful friendship. Then they sent me a photo of some exchange statement showing her make 3k on a 100k investment. That’s when I played hardball and told her that my portfolio returned more than 3%, and that if I reported her to the SEC and they ever found her I would get 10% as a finders fee (which is true btw, whistleblowing is a valid career path if you break a big enough scam).
That stopped them. Since then, I just delete any wrong number texts and report them as spam.
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Very interesting, I didn’t know there are finders fees for such things and I never responded to one of those messages. I think the closest I came was a phone scam like 10 years ago. IIRC some guy called me speaking English with a heavy accent (and by that I mean even heavier than mine lol) and said something about a problem on my PC. I just repeated that they should please send me an informative letter about this important problem until they gave up…
What I read about the social media scams a while ago sounded crazy though. Like, people getting kidnapped, ID taken away and brought into different countries to work for these scams 24/7 with many different accounts and huge time investments into single scams…