I wouldn’t normally open up on a public forum. But having a space to pour some thoughts out in this space is also sort of appealing. I expect and hope that thoughts shared among other like-minded artists should be treated with some respect and privacy. So here goes..
With what’s going on in the middle east, cost of living pressure, finances, jobs, the rise of Ai in industry and even increased crime in my suburb and city. As a father and family man I have started feeling more focused on the precautions and plans I should make with myself and my family.
I have heard of “preppers”. And thought it sounded a little unhinged and a far-off mentality. But at the moment it is sort of making a bit more sense. Should I be creating a “back-up” plan with my family and doing some “Prepping” At least having some options and learning some skills, for possible, but hopefully unlikely scenarios.
Maybe I’m just becoming a worrier as I get older. It’s not something I used to even think about. And it’s far away from the space my mind wants to be in to be creative with music. But it has been entering my mind more often over the last few weeks especially.
Thanks for listening. Feels good to get that out at least.
Yeah, that’s kind of the thing for me, too. It doesn’t seem cool or fun anymore.
The more I see forum posts and other shit that’s just obvious AI nonsense (not here, but everywhere else), the less I really want to engage with any of it. This is a good thing, for me at least, because that means less time spent doomscrolling and more time spent with family and doing actual hobbies when I have time. I can get into an autistic doomscrolling loop where I think everything is just awful when, so far, everything around me is actually really good, and keeps getting better. Sometimes staying grounded and away from the propaganda machine loop can help to recenter, for me at least.
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I really hate making music now, so I’ve quit trying to ‘push past the barrier’ that I’ve been dealing with for the past few years, and likewise I don’t really have a whole lot to contribute to a music forum, and likely will have even less going forward. As much as I’d love to create a bunch of off-topic threads and bullshit about other things (because I genuinely enjoy my time spent here), that’s likely to clutter the place up more than I already have.
It seems a little quiet here lately, though, so maybe a lot of you are enjoying the benefits of IRL and I’m just late to the party . I also don’t think I’m going anywhere, but if all goes well, I will hopefully fade into the mist and just lurk from now on, since this is one of the few places where I actually get excited to see what’s going on and to see what types of projects are happening.
Speaking for myself but I am enjoying and surviving irl all the good and the bad…and have become more stoic about stuff. Instead of getting engaged in the ridiculous pissing contests that people have over bullshit.
Music wise I felt I already dumped all of my knowledge gained throughout my musical journey on this forum.
Havent been posting much because shitposting on a forum gotta grow up.
If I do get back into music maybe I’ll share it in the lb…or make some stuff for future comps.
I’m younger (not young, but not old enough for a family of my own) and I feel some of the same stuff. Reality is I take prescription medications that I’d die without in about 6 hours so I’m never going to be a full on prepper because I depend on human society functioning at a pretty high level in order to live.
That said, I do a few things to make myself more confident and independent where I can. Things like picking up martial arts as a hobby, carrying a pocket knife and a flashlight around, having a water purifier in case that becomes an issue. Just a bit of reasonable prep without going full doomsday bunker. Am I going to survive fallout style if the bombs fall? No, not the goal. Am I set if I lose power and water for a day or two because of an accident or something? Yeah! Can I fight a trained soldier on the battlefield? No. Can I defend myself from a drunk partier wh starts shit with me (without permanently hurting either of us)? Yeah.
I have been sober since mid-Feb, but I relapsed about a month ago and it sucked. I’m doing ok. I just have felt very disconnected in general, which is why I haven’t been around here much. I just feel blah. I’ve unloaded the details of this feeling and mental state on all of the people that I mean to (my wife, my sponsor, my closest friends)… right now I don’t even feel the feeling of “it sucks”, I’m just… whatever. It’s a “blah” or “meh” feeling. I’m plugging away on the things I’m doing (film post production/day job) and working my ass off tbh to the point I’m sacrificing sleep which ain’t great, but I feel neither happy or sad. There are no extremes. I’m doing the work I’m supposed to do (journaling, working the steps, meditating, etc.) but it’s mechanical. I know my state will change, so the hope is that with the habits I’m forcing myself to be going through that the flatlined motions will integrate naturally when I reach the highs or lows. It’s hard because I know either of those are coming and I’m worried about my decision making when it happens. At the same time, when I’m emotionally placid like this, for real, I don’t really give a fuck. I’m trying to just be who I am and attempt to love myself as much as I can. I’m trying to laugh and invest myself in things I know matter to me. In this mindstate, though, I don’t feel really much of anything, except for the impending fact that I will feel all the things, very hard, very soon. Navigating bipolarity and sobriety is a very complex thing.
Hey everyone. I was part of the forum back in the day since 2010 until it died and have been lurking here- I tend to check in a few times a year. In 2024 I almost died found myself in the ICU for 4 weeks- 6 weeks hospital total. I’m happy to be alive. I’m here because I need to get back to making music. I’m classically trained on the piano and would like to actually make tracks electronically. Mostly I need an escape from my job, and now relationship…so I’m here.
Not to be a major downer (trigger warning: loss) but I think venting may help me in some small way. My wife and I lost our dear cat last month and I just lost my uncle the other night. Worst summer ever. We’ve lost a lot these past few years, as we also lost my grandma, another uncle, and the family dog, Sometimes it’s all too much to bear. Can’t wait for therapy next week.
. I also don’t think I’m going anywhere, but if all goes well, I will hopefully fade into the mist and just lurk from now on, since this is one of the few places where I actually get excited to see what’s going on and to see what types of projects are happening.