Over recent years I’ve come to realize that I have Paranoid Schizophrenia, and I’m just posting to tell anybody else with similar conditions that you are not alone, and that the is help for you in the world.
If anything, you can channel it into your music. I have. I do it a lot.
Point is, I get what you’re going through 
Stay safe.
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Just throwing this out there the internet social media isnt a safe space…
Other than that we all are struggling with things…
Doest thouwest evenst lift?
I lift the undearable weight of existence everyday
You stay safe as well. 
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It’s always a good idea to bring awareness to stuff like this. Even though my conditions aren’t really related or similar (well, depending on who you ask), sometimes it’s important to recognize the ‘invisible’ things people deal with.
I think the quantity of us living with “invisible disabilities” is probably higher than ever before, and unfortunately asking too many questions or trying to find plausible reasons behind the numbers makes everyone band together on teams and fight one another rather than everyone coming together and trying to understand it as best as we can, even if the reality opposes what we believe. (I also have no ideas, myself, but I think it ruins lives and should definitely be looked into a little harder than it is).
With that said, we’re all in this together. So the normies had better get used to it 
Although, do you have any interesting upsides with your condition? Mine’s a bit of a blessing / curse scenario, most of the time, so I’m wondering if there are any positive, or potneitally creative benefits that you sometimes gain in the process.
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First of all, good to see you back, K! 
And to answer your question, absolutely there are some interesting upsides. Usually I start to go a bit iffy when I’m stressing about things, so I actually tend to remember key information on what I need to do.
To be honest, I think Autism is actually really useful, because I get so hyper-fixated on things that I never struggle to finish them, and always finish them at a high standard.
Everything means I can create very edgy sounds, but I’m not so sure if the downsides are worth it…
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I think most of us on the spectrum feel that way, honestly. Not that it makes it any easier, obviously, but sometimes it’s good to know that the zigzagging and ‘spiky’ attributes are kind of what bind us, if that makes any sense.
Sounds like you’ve got a pretty creativity-provoking cocktail, though. It’s no wonder why your music kicks ass 
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What are you saying
When you said Autism can be useful I agree I’m neurotypical but I have a friend with Autism and she’s really skilled in drawing
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It seems pretty clear what i am saying, if you want to ask chatgpt to analyze my posts lol.
You just said random things ;_;
And I’m not that stupid to resort to ChatGPT
hey I’m just curious how do you “come to realize” you have this
asking because I have friends who have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and it’s fucking debilitating. so I am just making sure that you’re not like self-diagnosing. because that’s not how we do things in behavioral health.
honestly not that it matters, do whatever you want. this is a touchy, touchy subject, and not just for me. to start a thread saying “I have come to realize I have this crippling and intense psychological disorder” is kinda like 0__o because no one I have known that has been diagnosed with it would… post about it in a side room.. nonchalant.
noooooo no no no. i do not think that saying “most” is accurate.
That’s true, there are a lot of people who have learned to embrace it. Maybe I need to get on board 
Bfk has been saying random things on this forum for 20 years.
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Problem: borderline insane parents who couldn’t give a shit about my mental health, and honestly deserve to be locked up for the way they treat me.
Symptoms I’ve experienced:
- Literally seeing and talking to random people that just aren’t there.
- Struggling to tell if I’m awake or dreaming literally all the time
- Unable to form coherent words or word patterns during severe emotional attacks
- Constantly taking off my headphones because I swear somebody is trying to talk to me - but always being alone or isolated from other people in a public setting.
Call it “edgy teen” if you want, but my mental situation is so fucked up that talking about really concerning matters doesn’t phase me at all. Suicidal thoughts daily - where most people cry I laugh. When I went into a pre-therapy booking session I scored 50/50 for anxiety, 48/50 for depression, and 45/50 for stress.
It’s not healthy. I’m pushing to get at least my depression and anxiety problems fixed, but that’s its own beast with my parents.
More like 10ish, you forget im not claymores alt account lol.
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Thanks for that explanation that you didn’t owe me, and I totally understand. I have been working on and learning to deal with my own mental health stuff, when I was your age the world around me knew way less about it and some people who were never diagnosed with anything would read about these things somewhere, and go “That’s me!” without seeking any guidance, and instead they’d just tote it like a tote bag or a fashion statement. Please know that this is absolutely not the impression I’m getting from you, as my previous post was literally just a reaction to the anger I used to have for those douchebags. I don’t sense this from you at all and even if I did it doesn’t matter, you’re you and I encourage you to explore this part of you and feel free to talk about it…
I don’t know why I even spoke up the way I did because I know you’re very in tune with what’s going on in the world and you are more in touch with what’s going on in your noggin then I remember being. Literally my solution was substance abuse and I’m still paying for it. But yo, if I came off as an ass in my post before, it really was not intentional – sometimes I don’t know how to communicate without it seeming aggressive or contrarian or condescending. And I’m working on that.
I also want to encourage you to please post about anything you want in the side room, you’re welcome to; I was just surprised. that’s all. I mean come on, I’m Mr. Fuckin Oversharer. I’ve talked about my fuck ups, addictions, and mental health problems many times, and everyone here has seen the dark side of that at one point. So yeah @Mecha_Twitchy I’m sorry for coming off the way I did, I think I just got triggered by those people from my past.
and @KvlT my bad but you are actually correct… sometimes being neurodivergent is AWESOME. buuuut sometimes it’s really fucking not. With autism specifically, I have some friends who are parents of ASD 3 (low-functioning autistic) children and I’d say at in the adolescent period for everyone involved it’s extremely difficult. especially now that we live in a country whose government has flipped the table on treatment, prevention, and overall perspective on it.
In closing, yeah I fuckin love how weird I am, and thank god I can mostly function in society. Lots of people have it rough, but for the most part they adjust and find their groove. Unfortunately though, all of them end up like Ben Affleck in The Accountant 
haha man… I fuckin love that movie. Couldn’t get through 10 minutes of part 2 though. Might try again, maybe I just wasn’t in the mood.
Ok but we weren’t even talking about autism, we were talking about Schizophrenia so let’s carry on ha. ha .a ha ,.a HA ,ah>Ahhahaahhahah. poop
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Oh don’t worry, there was no hard feelings or anything, I just tried to answer your question, that’s all
I think the closest I’ve gotten to being even slightly irritated on here was just because of the slow loading speed on my tablet lmao
We love you Wayne 
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