I just downloaded cakewalk by bandlab and a few vsts. i honestly have no idea what im doing but my experience is super limited to just uber-simplified online resources like soundtrap, and the intros ive found so far kinda just assume i already know how to use a daw period which i kinda dont. its a very frustating process that i keep stopping to calm myself down because its that serious in my head. very anxious in my own brain and cant seem to make any headway. any tips?
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Cakewalk is an interesting choice for a DAW!
Learning how to use ANY software is annoying, but the best way to do it is in small bursts, and when you feel motivated to do so. YouTube might have some basics, like keyboard shortcuts and what things do, but the more you mess around with it the better you’ll get at it. Every time you learn something, it’s good to look back on it and congratulate yourself.
If you want a DAW that’s going to have MANY more beginner tutorials you can download FL studio. They have a free trial, but you can try and get it through… Other methods.
The same can be said for Ableton Live, but FL is considered to be a lot more beginner friendly, and the FL studio YouTube has some tutorials that are actually pretty cool.
Trust me when I say, your first beats are going to be really nasty, but don’t delete them, you’ll be able to track how much you grow as a producer.
Just remember, you’re effectively a student again. Learn as much as possible, apply what you’ve learnt, and avoid the bullies and trolls.
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I’d recommend trying a “zero to hero” or “absolute beginner” kind of tutorial. It has been a decade since I had to learn DAW software and I remember the frustration. For me, the hardest part was that I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t know the right words yet to articulate my questions. Starting with something that is basically someone reading a manual to you with some video to follow along with them was super helpful for me. After that, I could at least say “I want to make an automation clip do this” or “I need an aux channel with this routing”.
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To understand what you’re doing in a DAW I think it’s important to understand audio in general. Signal flow, audio jargon and gain structure are more important that the DAW itself. If you know those basic things, then learning any DAW will become more straight forward. It’s like dumping a mixing console in front of a musician and saying, here make music! Understanding what all the buttons, knobs and faders do is agnostic to the DAW.
Once you know the audio basics, then learn how to import/record and chop waveforms in the DAW you’ve chosen and what MIDI is and how it can be used.
I agree with @Mecha_Twitchy. Cakewalk is an interesting choice! I think Reaper is the best way to go. You can use it for “free” and it’s very powerful.
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Chiming to say all this advice given is sound (pun intended), and to say that Cakewalk was actually my very first DAW! Back in 1994… I had no f’in clue what I was doing. No youtube tutorials back then lol! Or forums really… had to RTFM 
tysm. im in manic mode rn after a few moth depression drop, the Daw shit, drop in ideas, the no friends stuff, got busy with work, ty for this advice ive accidentally stumbled on it but having someone lable it is nice yk tytyty. i wanna reach my potent man but i hate everything i make cuase brain hate brain how brain do brain with brain
How’s it going so far?
It’s funny to try and piece things back together (“how the hell did I get into this?”) but the learning seems pretty life-long, as with all good things. The good news is that if you’re in it for the long haul and genuinely like making music, you’ll end up reading manuals and books, watching the surface-level tutorials and digesting the deep dives over a long period of time without having to cram all of it in over the weekend.
Honestly, just dicking around and experimenting without knowing the details can be pretty fun at first, too. I spent years not even using many effects at all (I learned on the Playstation 1, seriously), and just getting to grips with everything felt kind of addictive.
Hopefully it reels you in for the long haul 
. If you need any help, some of us are pretty daw-agnostic and can maybe point you in the right direction. Sometimes you end up far from where you started (DAWs, instruments, OSes, etc), but thankfully the skills usually transfer over!
Also, if you’re overwhelmed, never underestimate the power of limits! Using a simple DAW (preferably free or in demo mode) without plugins can really create a focus zone for figuring out what you want to make and how to do it. Adding unnecessary complexity can sometimes weigh you down in the beginning, but there’s always room for power tools once you’ve got the basics down 