Losing the Passion for Creating


Yo, I haven’t read the rest of this thread and you posted this almost a year ago, but let me give you my insight on this.

I lose passion for creating all of the time. All of the fucking time. I oscillate between: 1) my shadow convincing me there’s nothing left in me and that I should sell everything and move on, get old and die; and 2) me falling into a moment of impromptu or semi-planned music making (literally just writing a patch on a synth)… letting go and getting lost in it without expecting anything or recording it. In those moments, I literally feel the light and love of music envelope me, it’s that collective voice letting me be completely taken over. When that happens, and lately it’s been rare! I am convinced that feeling this exact way is what I live for. That yearning never goes away. Not for me anyway. These precious moments are few and far between, and sometimes it gets so frustrating trying to chase it, it makes you wanna give up. I’ve decided I’m not going to chase it anymore. It’s helped.

What I can give you from my own experience is that even if you do try to give it up, eventually it will come back. Such is the curse and blessing of being a musician.

My personal journey lately has seen more ebbs than flows. I haven’t written a cohesive piece of music in… shit I don’t know, maybe since right when I moved back to California in 2021? I’ve been trying to find new ways to experience the joy of creating, and it’s been hard. I’m starting a band? so that’s cool.

My suggestion is to just change things up. Stop expecting anything. Just play music. Make sounds. Create a drone. Get back to the basic feeling of being excited about making noise. You’ll point yourself in the right direction.

I’ve tried to stop being a musician a few times. It’s never worked out. Our relationship to music is ever-evolving within our souls and subconsciouses. It’s up to the rest of ourselves to catch up with it. It’s rarely easy. But what worth doing is?

Breathe. Pick up your instrument. Just make sounds. Stop expecting yourself to write a masterpiece or even a track or even a loop. Just play.


This definitely resonates with me also.

Creating music is a rare opportunity for me and sometimes when i do have time for it, i don’t have the mind for it. So nothing meaningful really happens.

There is some evidence to suggest that high copper toxicity levels in your system contribute to more creativity. I know this because i have been tested multiple times with both very high and normal levels that correlate with my creative output (and interest). At the moment they are high. Not as high as they have been in the past though.

Disclaimer: Im definitely not recommending you go eatin copper as that is very bad.

Food for thought.


I never thought I’d say this, but I guess it’s time to start eating pennies

This is actually pretty interesting though, because people with my ‘disorder’ actually have a high amount of heavy metals (not death metal, unfortunately) in their bloodstream and I’ve never once struggled with getting my creative juices flowing. I sort of want to get tested to see if the urban legend is true.

Supposedly mutants like me don’t filter them out correctly or some shit and they just build up, or at least that’s one theory


Your body needs the right cofactors to filter out excess heavy metal. If it can’t do it normally, then supplementing and a diet change to rebalance is the only way to achieve it.

Now I’m gunna get all woo on you:
If you’re going to tested, a blood test is not enough to determine your issue. You have to take a hair sample (not pubes) that’s right down to the scalp. The hair stores minerals and it’s like a blueprint of what your body composition is like. A 1 cm length of hair suggests about 1 month of life (variable depending on the person of course).


I actually really dig the woo-woo / alternative medicine side of things, even if there’s no absolutely proven scientific evidence for it. The issue with science is that it admits there’s a serious correlation between these things, and then doesn’t offer any solution and downright shuts down the argument altogether to the point where people aren’t even allowed to talk about it or question it anymore (I never got the MMR, for example, so that one is probably correct, but that doesn’t mean other environmental factors can’t be responsible). So when somebody attempts to come up with any sort of solution (especially in a less-than-scummy sort of way) I think it deserves a try, provided it’s not splashing acid in your eyes or something.

I legitimately want to do this though, because it’s really hard to argue with test results. The issue, of course, is that it’s always hard (or often expensive) to get tests like this. Definitely going to look into that, though!

I’ve done shit on the genetic end and from what I’ve read, things do line up so far (to the point where people I know without similar issues don’t even have the genes responsible for it, etc). Being loaded down with heavy metals would definitely seal the deal on that one.

Losing creativity juices would kind of suck, but it’s probably a small loss in the grand scheme of things


I used to be able to lock it in and do 8 hour sessions nightly. Fuck, these days I just can’t do that in my old age. I now need a lot of factors to stay creatively stimulated. First, my environment needs to be clean, I have to feel I accomplished something productive before a session, even if it’s a small task like dishes or what ever.

I need longer recharge periods and other activities to help the creative process, like long hikes, photography/videography, sports, etc.

I used to go to the bar, smash shots, and fucking rock all night. Now I need to be all coddled and shit


Also, for you guys saying inspiration comes far and few in between, that is what I was going through for over the last 10 years. I recently got into a conversation with a psychologist about this topic and she pointed me in some good directions on why this happens. One thing though, when you do get inspiration, if you’re like me, you’re like fuck yeah… I’m striking gold and you hit it hard, like hard as fuck.

I thought that was a good thing but is actually quite counter productive because you are releasing all your dopamine and built up pleasure all at once which will lead to a crash period again, until it builds back up. It’s hard but it’s better to find a way to do it in smaller amounts consistently. That’s why I’ve just gotten more and more hobbies to stimulate my creativity and hit music for a quick session every night/day. I’ve been 10 times more productive since these insights this last months then I’ve been in years.

Obviously we’re all different and what works for me may not for others but between this and previous post, that’s what’s helped push my mindset to get back into it and enjoying it again.


Check out: The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles


I’ve been reading a book that was recommended to me called ‘The Artist Way’. Haven’t started the techniques in it quite yet because it is a commitment every day. I’m just getting back into my work out routine, can’t juggle too much at once.

I used to fucking hate the treadmill, now it’s a running place of peace and inspiration.


I definitely think this part is crucial, no matter how little time someone has. I used so spend 100% of my free time on music and it almost became an unhealthy obsession where I wouldn’t really learn a whole lot or grow in the ways I wanted to because I was so focused on completing tracks, mixing, etc. Being able to focus on other things and then come back to music offers a much cooler perspective of the whole picture instead of hyperfocusing (something my brain likes to do regardless) on the fine, granular details that nobody else even notices.

Some people seem to think that it’s easier to learn and do things when they’re younger because they have more time and stamina to devote to the project, but I find that the opposite is true – the less time I have, the more time I have to do the shit that matters and let the smaller shit slide instead of the opposite.