Sobriety

I don’t have any experiences with this myself, but my parents actually met in AA, sobered up together, and have been together sober for… 33 years?

Not trying to brag, just saying it can be done. I’m not the one to tell their story, so I won’t get into it, but just want you all to know it can be done. For whatever it’s worth, whether you’re trying to make a big change or a little tweak, I’m rooting for you.

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That’s amazing about your parents. I also grew up in a sober household, but without the past experience. Drugs and alcohol were just “bad” without any context.

It absolutely can be done. Once I realized I was never alone in this journey I decided to be a bit more open about it publicly because anyone who knows me publicly also knows about my over-the-top-party-animal past. Not like I can damage my reputation any more than I already have lol.

I had to nurture a more humble side of me, which meant asking for help. Personally, I feel reaching out for support to someone who cares about you and won’t judge you but also hold you accountable is one of the best ways to truly get through at least the first month, which can be brutal. It gets easier though, and the demons get quieter. They’ll kinda always be there though. But triggers become more manageable. You just have to wake up every day and commit to pushing yourself to shift old habits. It’s not easy. And withdrawals are a bitch.

I go to meetings occasionally because surrounding myself with people who are dealing or have dealt with addiction are in that room to support each other and feel supported. I’ve had very good experiences with both AA and NA. It’s like the gym, you just have to show up.

Thanks for the replies y’all.

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I’ve never reached addiction level myself, but I’ve certainly drunk oceans of alcohol in my life. I was the party animal type and a (sometimes too) friendly drunk, so for a while I couldn’t even envision ever quitting. What would I be without my crazy alter ego that everybody loves?

Then, when the blackouts became more and more frequent, it gradually stopped being fun, because of things I’m told I did when I was wasted. The things I thought I may have done or said were even worse in my mind.

For those who don’t know: a blackout drunk is somebody whose body is still functioning somehow despite a blood/alcohol level that should mean you’re unconscious, and their brain stops creating new memories. If you will, your body is so used to high levels of alcohol/the blood poisoning that you can keep on going when someone else would have passed out or be dead a long time ago, but you only have limited brain capacity.

So in effect, you can be up & drinking for hours, seemingly having a good time, and have zero recollection of what you did or said, whoever you were with, etc., the following day, simply because the memories weren’t created in the first place. It’s a very scary thing, frankly.

One of the (rare) good things about aging is that the hangover recovery time gets worse and longer, to the point where you start thinking: “why am I even doing this?”. So gradually, through the years, I slowed down. I am not interested in ever entirely stopping, because I love great beers and wine, but I know how to stop before I get to the “hell yeah, more, more!!” frame of mind. And yes, not spending any more weekends feeling like shit and hating yourself is a beautiful motivator…

I read this book at some point. It’s insane how much I could relate and how some of the things she did I also did, despite the author being a woman. Highly recommended!

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/blackout-sarah-hepola/1120481005

Good luck @Fidelium - your awareness means you’re going to make it!

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7 months sober here myself, it was an adjustment, but I’ll never hop aboard that train again even casually. Took some rewiring but I’m happy to focus my energy and motivations elsewhere at this point in the game.

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7 months is amazing. Keep doing whatever you are doing. It is so worth it.

That’s also enough time for your brain to start to get back to normal – which I know can be weird in and of itself – that was about the time I started to actually experience actual joy from simple things I used to enjoy doing like reading, writing, mixing records etc.

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