Provocative Outrageous fake news headlines (dont revive this shitpost thread)


#1

Basically make up or share some provocative fake news headlines.

For example.

Dickless wonder is pissed he got pegged twice by simon cowell eating ice cream in a borat onekini at coachella while high on crystal meth.

Or

Donald trump is interviewed by the view, people are shocked that he eats pudding.


#2

Lol minus Simon Cowell that definitely happened at Coachella!


#3

Rosie o’donell farted on donald trump, and is sueing trump for breaking nda

Trump dissapointed that he is not handpicked by the alpaca of kindness to be president because of a tiny penis.

Elon musk invents new technology to save the planet but tells people to go fuck themselves after pudding controversy.

Republican marries a woke democrat…woke democrat cheats on republican. Republican’s feelings are hurt and decides to get back at woke democrat by having affair at an ohio highway rest stop. Woke democrat finds out and does not give two shits.


#4

Woke person hits snooze on the alarm and goes back to sleep.

Area 51 sued for discriminating against people in hawaiian shirts…class action lawsuit involves the legality of the right to anal sex and pina coladas.


#5

Pharma CEO gets a bad conscience and starts pushing for IP waivers. Gets praised by NGOs, but killed by a shareholder. Turns out the CEO sold all his shares and wanted to invest into a new company trying to fuel environmentally-friendly cars with anger from people getting less profit than last quarter.


#6

Bono from U2 literally gives birth to a peice a shit after a laxative and pf changs…the newborn peice of shit announces its run for president in 2024.

This just in poll shows the 30% of people think math is out to destroy america, they tell higher education organizations off in recent fb status oped peices tagged “im with stupid”…rioters dub themselves morons against math

This just in stupid people get into argument on fb with morons against math. Public is dumbfounded.

Public controversy after morons get arrested because they hurt math teachers feelings.

This years superbowl is called off because tom bradys feeling are hurt that he isnt in it. Recieves public support in this trying time…public backlash ensues as nfl risks getting canceled for not including tom brady.


#7

A siamese cat gets recruited for an off the books government black ops mission, and makes tom cruise look bad, tom cruise is replaced by said siamese cat for mission impossible franchise…reason being that the cat has real world experience…

This just in tom cruise calls siamese cat a douchebag…is miffed he got recast…said it was a mutual decision.

Limp bizkit album inducted into library of congress…for artistic integrity.

Donald trump marries roseanne barr…everyone who knows immediately begins to vomit

Two people one cup, no one wants to know whether or not its a sequel or completely unrelated…people decide not to risk their mental health.


#8

Now you’re talking


#9

Lebron james is furious at both fans and haters. Says that all the erections up in his business are bipolar. Says get out my face bruv after slapping away a bunch of penises.

Because of fiasco lebron james wins nba championship by drawing a lot of fouls.

Hillary clinton gets rejected by donald trump after attempting to grab him by the balls.

Donald trump gets divorced by melania trump as a favor to hillary. She says that hillary and donald were made for each other.

Epidemic of explosive diarrhea doesnt discriminate, although the public wishes that it did. Public states it would make life easier if they didnt have to buy a bunch of depends underwear.


#10

Elon musk reveals he is leto 2’s time traveling reincarnation trying to expose the illuminati free mason coalition in order to set humanity on the golden path.

Taco bell source of colon disease epidemic…doctors recommended chipotle during these trying times…

Bumper sticker causes road rage incident in florida.

Are you bro enough read article on how you should bro properly…

Chubby chaser becomes famous for chubby chasing, andrew tate followers announces they are jealous and butt hurt.


#11

Nickelback inducted into rock n roll hall of fame and win some grammys

Kim kardashian is jealous of the size of nicki minajs butt…kim k gets bigger butt implants.


#12

Prominent body positive activists dies from heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Human race discovers their own anuses…

Social movement to normalize farting in public gains traction after years of oppression. Farting in public added as a constitutional right.

Man identifies as a llama.

Rush limbaugh was sad that no one recognized his fat bastard costume from austin powers…people thought he was just being normal.

People say that they are just in it for the likes.


#13

All major media outlets admit that they lied, and tells the general public to go fuck themselves.