Just got vaccinated and I’m feeling fucking superior to everyone that hasn’t.
Nurse hit us with a choice: Johnson and Johnson shot – you only take it once and it’s around 60% effective, or Moderna shot – after you take it, you come back in 30 days later and take another and it’s around 90% effective. But me and my family were like, fuck that shit, we’re not fucking driving over here again, so we got the Johnson and Johnson shot, and the regret didn’t even set in until, like, an hour later!
What no one told us until AFTER the shot was that the Johnson and Johnson one was more painful. And I’d have to say that it IS, indeed, strangely painful.
As I sit here, reflecting on the fact that I’ll most likely have to take that shot again, annually, for the rest of my stupid life, I’m gripped by the futility and ultimate meaninglessness of our collective existence. These shots are going to keep us alive for only so long, and poking at the spot on my arm where they gave me the shot stopped being fun, like, 3 hours ago.
FUCK YOU JOHNSON AND JOHNSON YOU REDUNDANT-NAME-HAVING BULLSHIT COMPANY I CURSE YOUR NAME!!! May the greatest misfortune greet you in the form of a giant vaccination shot piercing through your organs and impaling you high over the horizon for all to see. fnord.