Adulting (aka The Coffee Thread)

Hey floridaman

Were both florida now…

Im north florida

And your nyc south…

Lol…

:grin:

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I do a tiny cup of coffee in the morning, usually it makes me feel very uncomfortable. Then I try to drink a gallon jug of water throughout the day, probably hit an average of 3/4 gal

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My wife actually prefers to drink 1-3 day old coffee. She leaves it in the fridge, no cover/lid, in a coffee cup, and sips away at it. and when I go to dump it she’s like “nooooo don’t throw out my coffee my sweet sweet wake up juice I was gonna drink that”. and, man no judgement, I love her to death, but man that’s kinda a special kind of Philistinian-crackwhore-level of caffeine addiction there, babe. What’s funny is my ogre ass will drink an opened beer (aka "fallen soldier) from the fridge in the same way, like a gentleman, chugging it over the sink, thanking my past-self for the nectar-filled time-capsule of good-times past. Haven’t done it in a long time cuz we don’t keep alcohol in the house anymore, I wonder why, but man one of those stale uncarbonated piss half empty piss cans sounds mighty nice right about now.

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K cup coffee machine, or french press, or that pleb shit with water and a filter…

Also cream, sugar, half and half or black…

Mocha, french vanilla, caramel,

Starbucks, or dunkin or the cafe…

Bougie af all the way bitches…

Fuck yeah bougie. It’s one of the few upsides of adulting - knowing what you give a shit about and being able to push your resources at it. On balance, there’s a lot of my life that’s probably operating at below societal standards because it’s stuff I just don’t care about.

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Yeah, this has been one of my favorite things.

Hey just wondering, what do you give a shit about?

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That’s a good question that I have to ask myself from time to time.

I mean there’s a certain ‘adulting’ baseline I try to keep - all my shit paid up, not carrying debt, etc. Since digging myself out of poverty years ago, this has been #1. Kind of facilitates being able to afford the rest of the list.

Dogs. I’m a dog guy, and mine get priority when they need it. They’re spoilt and that’s surprisingly expensive, though nowhere near human-spawn expensive.

House. Like repairs, keeping things comfortable. Keeping the property up (I live in the sticks on a good bit of land so there’s things like fencing and brush hogging to deal with). I also like nice furniture with solid construction that doesn’t fall apart in a couple years. I work from home and spend a lot of time here so a comfortable, well-maintained space is important to me.

I like to cook and I like to eat well, so kitchen hardware and good ingredients (not like fancy stuff, really, just not brown ground beef).

Coffee. I don’t drink sodas or much booze anymore, and water’s mostly just water, so I spend some time and money on a thing I ingest daily.

Tools - this one is sort of broad, but I guess it means “things related to hobbies I engage with regularly”. Music, woodworking and metalworking, computer-y stuff, electronics. I’m a chronic tinkerer so I like to have the tools and materials to facilitate that.

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I love all of this!! :fire: :meowrave: :fire:

Very inspiring. These are fantastic and healthy things to give a shit about.

If you could give yourself a grade for your focus, sustainability, and self-accountability or your focus on all these things, what would it be 0-100/A-F?

My grade right now for myself is about a 72%, or C-. Two months ago I’d give myself a fucking F. I struggle with sustaining habits and focus. I’m trying to fix the root of these issues, as they’ve sort of plagued me my whole life. Writing things down/journaling helps, at least to just materialize the shit running through my brain and I guess get to know myself and figure out what I want for the rest of my life a little clearer? I’d love to be able to give myself a solid B/B+ by the end of the year… one day at a time. It’s really about giving myself grace, forgiving myself for my shortcomings and mistakes, as I gradually change from habits that were toxic to the ones that steer me in a positive direction.

Getting older is weird. I didn’t think I’d make it this far but here I am. I just turned 39 a week ago, and the gravity of my own half-life if you will forces me to take stock on the last 4 decades and try to not only cage my demons but also look forward to discovering what I want for myself and make the moves toward it.

Even doing one thing, just ONE thing, a day to move you closer to that is a successful day. Extraordinary things don’t happen in an instant, everything takes time, usually longer than we want it to. Trusting the process is hard, but the journey is really what this fuckin existence is really about. I think. The few things left that I know for certain diminish as the universe expands. It’s better to spend this life trying to feel good about yourself and your life as opposed to waiting for asteroid to trigger a mass extinction event. A boy can dream though. :smiling_imp:

Now here’s Tom with the weather!

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It only took about 2 weeks to get really strung out on this coffee thing. Send help

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I’m going to average it and say, like…B+? I don’t really know, I’m not sure I’ve ever really thought about it in those terms.

I’m serious head-down focused when I get into something, but I’ve got a bit of ADD and it’s easy for me to get distracted by another project or interesting thing part way through. I think the way I corral that is I’ve got a bunch of semi-related hobbies that are all interesting and engaging in their own way, so now when I drift off of one thing it’s on to another productive thing and not way off into the weeds where I’m just going to get tick bites. And by my nature there’s usually a half-finished project or some bits of research laying around that I can pick back up when I start to drift off a thing.

For me, the cardinal rule has become “handle your shit”. Sometimes that’s work, sometimes it’s fixing the dishwasher before the wife guts me in my sleep, sometimes it’s running around doing errands or paying bills. Sometimes it’s making financial spreadsheets so I know where I’m at and where I’m going. None of it’s fun, it’s all the worst part of adulting, but I don’t let that stuff slide anymore. It’s expensive and more of a headache when you put it off, and keeping that stuff on lock means when it’s done, my time’s my own.

All the rest of it is for my own enjoyment - I don’t hold myself to “you need to have this done by X date” for hobbies, because then they become work and I’ve already got a job. I guess that’s a practical “way of giving myself grace” as you nicely put it. I gave up on thinking about making a living at my hobbies years ago, and while it was a bummer at the time, it’s been incredible freeing in the long run. There are things I want to do, things I sometimes think I should be doing, but stressing about stuff I enjoy sounds like a good way to turn them bad, or at least beat myself up about something I do for fun. That’s no bueno.

Yeah, man. I feel it. I certainly know about waking up in the morning (or afternoon) and not liking the person in the mirror. Thinking about wasted potential and how if that guy could just rein himself in he’d be fucking stellar out there. And then going to find something, anything, so you don’t have to think about that guy for a while. I’m not saying that’s you, but it’s certainly been me in the past, and it’s hard.

But I also know people can change themselves (other people, not so much). I’ve reinvented myself a couple times though the years, and it feels good to move towards a place you want to be. I won’t deign to give advice, but for me it was about mindset - I had to learn to enjoy being productive, and how to take pride in things I did, even when they weren’t necessarily important to me. After a time of forcing myself to ‘be like that’, it started to become second nature and I found myself looking for the next thing I could be working on. My dopamine hit became “I did a good job and learned some things that will make the next thing even better” instead of fucking around and feeling bad about my poor choices.

Again, not advice. Just an anecdote from someone who’s been on a similar road. It sounds like you’re moving in the right direction and trying to be the person you want to be. Wherever you end up, I think that maybe the trying is the important bit.

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You mean like mail you a pound of good beans? :rofl:

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“Running away from the disappointment I’ve been shoving down inside of me for the last 10 years by keeping busy with ANYTHING remotely productive that isn’t self-reflection” is my middle name.

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Did some adulting today…

By working towards my goals.

My goal is stop being a hermit and be more street smart.

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I appreciate your words. One thing I struggle with is comparing who I am now with the person I wish I was, or my progress with the progress I see other people having. I have a master’s degree in self-sabotage.

I’m not saying that’s you

Oh you hit the nail on the head, that’s totally me lol. My journey in the past has been dressing wounds but as it is right now I’m finally putting the work in at dealing with the roots of my procrastination/productivity issues. Of course it’s all rooted in state of my mental health, and how I am addressing my addictions. I’m like a fucking LFO set at .666 Hz, I’ll go from “weeeee I can’t stop I can’t stop” to cain’t never could almost overnight, and it’s about as easy as slipping off a greasy log backwards.

I had to learn to enjoy being productive

This is the key, and it’s so profound and speaks to me in this moment, thank you. Productivity for me right now means showing up to my labor of love with humility and data-downloading as much as I can about production and sound design, down to the basics. I took so much time avoiding it that whenever someone tells me “it’s like riding a bicycle” my response is, “yeah except that bicycle was left out in the rain for years and I am out of shape.” That could be taken literally, figuratively, spiritually, and musically. I will say though, it’s nice to jump back aboard the music-making journey. Nothing else really makes me feel as good as I do when I’m creating sounds.

And ya know, with all the bullshit going on in our adult lives, finding that balance to materialize your love (and rage) into your music even when you’re getting pulled in a million different directions, the fulfillment is transcendent. Nuggets of joy.

Wherever you end up, I think that maybe the trying is the important bit.

Yep. Trust the process.

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I once had a massive coffee addiction. I quite literally got a job in a coffee shop solely for thr free coffee.
I knew i needed to dial it back a lot whenever my chest muscles would do that twitchy thing.
I didn’t really get a handle on it until after i quit drinking alcohol.
Now i only have 3 cups, maximum. And only after i wake up. The third cup usually is ingested at a leisurely pace while at work, so i can stretch it out. After that, it’s only water until later in the evening, and i have a couple non-alky beers.
To say that my life improved with this shift in habits would be a gross understatement. I sleep better, despite the fact i actually sleep less than i did before. Seriously. 5 to 6 hours a night, as opposed to the 8 to 10 hours i used to get. As a bonus, the brain fog is completely gone. I’m still grumpy when i first wake up, but i’m alert and ready to go. I don’t even need the coffee, to be honest, but it’s a luxury i insist on.
Moderation is key.
Also, if there is no ice in the water, it had better at least be refrigerated. People who drink tepid water are lizards and you must set them on fire. For the peace of the kingdom.

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Unhermitting myself costs money lol…

Doing it on a budget…

Coffee i get to be as pretentious as i want to be in my taste…

Black Coffee with liquor all the way bitches…

Itll give you alpha status among all these masculinity influencers on social media. Lol.

“I like my coffee black, just like my metal”

-That one guy from that band, I think

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Mindless Self Indulgence- Shut Me Up

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