[Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March
You are Unregistered, please register to gain Full access.    
Advertisements


Listening Booth YOUR MUSIC ONLY. Don't post music from your label or DJ night. No podcasts or radio shows, just individual tracks. Give some feedback, get some in return. Please follow the title format: [Genre] Artist - Title

Reply
Thread Tools
Old 20-03-2017, 12:51 PM   #1
HexPhosphorus
Microknight
HexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the rough
HexPhosphorus's Avatar
Chicago, Los Angeles, Madison, and Portland Oregon.
Age: 37
Posts: 115
MC Status: 260
Thanks: 7
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
[Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

This is a first draft that I started last night. I may change up the composition and I would like to add some vocals maybe.



Last edited by A.M; 22-03-2017 at 10:16 PM.. Reason: title fixed

Advertisements


------------------
HexPhosphorus is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Rate this track - [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March.
Old 20-03-2017, 11:43 PM   #2
HexPhosphorus
Microknight
HexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the rough
HexPhosphorus's Avatar
Chicago, Los Angeles, Madison, and Portland Oregon.
Age: 37
Posts: 115
MC Status: 260
Thanks: 7
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Rhythmic Noise, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] Doom March

2nd Draft.


------------------
HexPhosphorus is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 23-03-2017, 04:31 AM   #3
dada_davros
IDMf Supporter
dada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MCdada_davros is a savage MC
dada_davros's Avatar
Posts: 356
MC Status: 11910
Thanks: 104
Thanked 238 Times in 154 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

Needs more work imo. Guitars sound tinny, not enough low end (maybe that's my speakers though). Potential is def there and with vocals it can change the dynamics of a song a lot. Currently there isn't much dynamic range and industrial music thrives on that.
Those guitars should have some hair on their balls if you ask me, should feel like they are punching me in the face, currently they feel like they are brushing up against my leg.

------------------
dada_davros is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 24-03-2017, 05:00 PM   #4
HexPhosphorus
Microknight
HexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the rough
HexPhosphorus's Avatar
Chicago, Los Angeles, Madison, and Portland Oregon.
Age: 37
Posts: 115
MC Status: 260
Thanks: 7
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

Got it.

In the meantime I think it sounds better at 162 BPM.

I am going to work on the guitar filters next.



------------------
HexPhosphorus is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 26-03-2017, 08:18 AM   #5
HexPhosphorus
Microknight
HexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the roughHexPhosphorus is a jewel in the rough
HexPhosphorus's Avatar
Chicago, Los Angeles, Madison, and Portland Oregon.
Age: 37
Posts: 115
MC Status: 260
Thanks: 7
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

Is this better?


------------------
HexPhosphorus is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 30-03-2017, 04:36 AM   #6
Vault O)))
Savage Mad Cunt
Vault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MCVault O))) is a savage MC
Posts: 1,163
MC Status: 41810
Thanks: 1,079
Thanked 836 Times in 547 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

Sounds kind of rushed or something (I'm one to talk, really). I like your trademark cut-up (and gaps within the slicing of) guitars as usual, but the song itself doesn't seem to progress in the long haul. It sounds like it could just be set on an infinite loop for a PSX demo (I mean that in an enjoyable way), and serves great for ambiance but not so much for a piece that progresses.

Again, I do the same thing in my music so I can't really offer any advice or real critique, but I enjoyed it as it is (basing this off of the most recent edit). It honestly sounds like a cool mash-up of styles that I've never heard before, almost like Pitchshifter's music but with some weirder ideas and loops thrown in.

Did you play the guitar or is it a sample? Either way wouldn't alter my opinion, but I'm curious


Edit: I based this off of post #4. Post #5 sounded like an entirely different song, so I was confused about what we were critiquing on.

------------------
Vault O))) is online now   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 30-03-2017, 02:25 PM   #7
aikighost
Lemon Eater
aikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MCaikighost is a savage MC
aikighost's Avatar
Reading
Posts: 1,411
MC Status: 12851960
Thanks: 229
Thanked 379 Times in 271 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

The top end needs taming and you need to lay off the brick wall compressor.

Needs dynamics and better mix of frequencies.

------------------
The ultimate Law: All general statements are false

My Techno Music News & Techno Mixes Blog

Submit mixes to TechnoMusicNews.com
aikighost is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Old 30-03-2017, 07:40 PM   #8
Artificer
Digital Surfer
Artificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MCArtificer is a savage MC
Artificer's Avatar
Southern Hell
Posts: 583
MC Status: 33560
Thanks: 223
Thanked 671 Times in 391 Posts
Re: [Industrial Metal, IDM, Gothic-Industrial Bellydance] HexPhosphorus - Doom March

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vault O))) View Post
Edit: I based this off of post #4. Post #5 sounded like an entirely different song, so I was confused about what we were critiquing on.
I think this is the root of much of your issue right here. Instead of making slight adjustments to individual elements you go and remix the entire track. I get that one thing leads to another but it's really difficult both as artist and critic to deal with massive directional changes on a regular basis. If you can make smaller changes to fewer things and post them it'll likely make it easier for us to give critiques and easier for you to track those changes.

I think you've got a really individual style and it's working for you. Most of your issues stem from mixing and sound design limiting the dynamics of the track. If you can make iterative changes to those things to make them sit better, you'll be well on your way.

Advertisements

Artificer is offline   Thanks Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
EBM / Industrial acts moving toward metal Toothpinch Industrial / EBM / Power Electronics 2 21-02-2017 08:58 PM
[Post-Industrial, Industrial Metal, IDM] HexPhosphorus - A World Reborn - Partx1 HexPhosphorus Listening Booth 3 22-01-2017 11:38 PM
[Industrial, Industrial Metal, Rythmic Noise, IDM] HexPhosphorus - Garden Omen HexPhosphorus Listening Booth 1 14-01-2017 03:19 PM
German Industrial (metal), EBM brabbit Industrial / EBM / Power Electronics 23 09-10-2014 01:46 AM
great new idm/industrial/rhythmic noise compilation from new US label Signifier worms Industrial / EBM / Power Electronics 1 14-04-2012 10:16 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 04:31 AM.


Electronic Music Forums

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.