[Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first draft0
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Old 07-05-2017, 05:09 PM   #1
Techmonkey
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[Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first draft0



First "song" after a pretty terrible breakup. Looking for feedback on what I could do to improve the track. Any feedback appreciate. Be blunt, just be constructive. Thanks.

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Rate this track - [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first draft0.
Old 07-05-2017, 07:57 PM   #2
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Re: [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first dra

I f'n love this.
Wouldn't change a thing.
Dark and a bit of soul.

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Old 08-05-2017, 01:00 AM   #3
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Re: [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first dra

Holy sh!t, I dig this! Can't really think of any ways to improve it, the dark tone is captured wonderfully and everything is crisp. Good work!

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Old 08-05-2017, 01:34 AM   #4
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Re: [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first dra

The mixing is seriously tight. Not a sound out of place, everything in it's slot, and the percussion really shines. It helps the track move along nicely. Very polished.

The sound design is interesting in some places, tepid in others. I get a very 'stock industrial' vibe from a lot of it. It's very late 90's NIN and not in a particularly innovative way. If that's what you're going for, you definitely nailed it. I just hear a lot of room to push some boundaries with the sound and help really drive the track. As it is it just kind of warbles along for me.

My least favorite part is the vocals. Again, could be lifted straight from NIN with the whispery effected thing. I think you could either play with some more interesting effects (modulation, layering, etc) or just give a straight up vocal performance and give the centerpiece of the song more impact.

My favorite part is the section right after the first vocals, around 2:15. The lead line has great contrast and tone and there's lots of interesting background bits that kept my attention. I was bummed when it ended, I could have done a whole track like that.

So yeah, well produced and slick but not very moving or interesting for me personally. Might just be I'm not so into the style you're going for.
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Old 08-05-2017, 02:30 AM   #5
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Re: [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first dra

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artificer View Post
The mixing is seriously tight. Not a sound out of place, everything in it's slot, and the percussion really shines. It helps the track move along nicely. Very polished.

The sound design is interesting in some places, tepid in others. I get a very 'stock industrial' vibe from a lot of it. It's very late 90's NIN and not in a particularly innovative way. If that's what you're going for, you definitely nailed it. I just hear a lot of room to push some boundaries with the sound and help really drive the track. As it is it just kind of warbles along for me.

My least favorite part is the vocals. Again, could be lifted straight from NIN with the whispery effected thing. I think you could either play with some more interesting effects (modulation, layering, etc) or just give a straight up vocal performance and give the centerpiece of the song more impact.

My favorite part is the section right after the first vocals, around 2:15. The lead line has great contrast and tone and there's lots of interesting background bits that kept my attention. I was bummed when it ended, I could have done a whole track like that.

So yeah, well produced and slick but not very moving or interesting for me personally. Might just be I'm not so into the style you're going for.
I agree with most of this statement. I think everything is reallllly cool, but not 100% digging the vocals. I think if you want to keep vocals, could be interesting to go in another direction with them, as this vibe feels a little bit too played out. Really awesome track overall!
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Old 08-05-2017, 02:27 PM   #6
Techmonkey
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Re: [Dark, Cinematic, Electronic, Industrialish] mOnKeyFacE- Darkened Skies(first dra

Thanks very much for the feedback. I'm totally surprised at the positive feedback about the polish. I think I suck pretty bad at mixing. I think I got lucky on this one.

Artificer: I really appreciate the candid feedback. My musical roots are in 80s and 90s industrial, so I do draw a lot of inspiration from there. I'll definitely go back and play around with different vocal approaches and modulation. I slapped this together in a few hours so it really is a rough draft. I'll keep in mind the comments about the 2:15 as I tweak the track more. Again, thanks. I love solid critical feedback. It's the only way to get better.

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