Dating experiences thread

#138

Also, with 75% of them the chat is so boring…like they refuse to actually discuss “get to know you” type stuff…its just like emojis and “awww I wish we could cuddle” like…yea…me too (but only maybe, because I know nothing about you except your 30 word profile)…but that is kind of impossible since you won’t even do a safe meet in public, so keep wishing…

#139

Honestly though everyone has a hierarchy of who they would want to be with. Sometimes peoples hierarchies dont fit together.

Texting some randos online are like bottom tier…

Person you know in real life that your crushing hard on is a higher tier…

Then the instagram…cause ppl want what they cant have.

#140

Spot on!

I am probably going to ditch the apps and join an adult spirts league or volunteer with my local Pride organization, something like that.

#141

Oooh damn y’all. A former play partner of mine is back in town to teach for the semester…we reconnected this weekend…fun times ahead!

#142

Well. Um. That play date went well.

#143

Been on a few dates…

Cultivate your cold reading skills in order to be a great conversationalist…

And also to figure out whether or not you are compatible.

#144

Dont walk into a relationship with a weak sense of self cause there will be problems…

Also if it goes south people will sometimes seek emotional revenge…be wary if your in a relationship with such a type.

But also dont mistreat the person so that they wont seek emotional revenge.

Lastly be like batman in any event.

#145

Cultivate your own kind of personal magnetism.

#146

My personal magnetism is “If you think I am being weird, it is because I am.”

But seriously. Yes. Absolutely. I wish I would have figured out people liked me best when I was being authentic a long ass time ago.

#147

Theres groups on social media like…

“Are we dating the same person [insert city]”

So dont be an abusive jerkoff…

But also protect yourself by being cautious of who you do coitus with…

Cause your interactions will be screenshotted into those groups and/or people will accumulate a dating dossier on you.

If you have good character and are resilient you have nothing to worry about.

Just watch out for vindictive social climbers.

But also if your an asshole work on being a better person…

Unless your chris brown…if you are chris brown just go away.

#148

Speaking to those doxing abusive assholes groups…my wife is in a local one…the number of men that have come up in the group that is someone she or I or both of us know or met is shocking.

Though the group she is in isn’t really about abusers, but rather dudes who have multiple relationships where the women think the guy is monogamous with them.

It is the wild west out there…

#149

To be clear …Not saying those dating same person groups are wrong…

Moreso highlighting that sometimes individual people in some instances use groups like these, incorrectly…to mess up other people for stupid vindictive reasons

But again…its like it comes with the territory…

And to be fair the male equivalent is not any better.

At the end of the day gotta sack up and have the courage the venture out into the world regardless…cause otherwise life leaves you behind.

#150

Oh I understood: ) I phrased my response poorly. I meant to point out that I was actually shocked how on point the group was. I definitely thought there would be more shitty revenge going on.

#151

Oh man, had a pretty bad experience recently.
Had an on/off thing with a coworker, she lead me on big time at the end, I think to get even because I cut things off with her originally and pumped the breaks when things seemed like they were going too fast early on…

She also chased me for the longest time before anything happened between us, so it’s really frustrating to have my feelings invalidated by her, and feels like she kinda strung me along to feel better about herself or something… she tried gaslighting me multiple times about past experiences we had together, I think to also save herself from feeling any guilt about the situation.
Shit fed my BPD really badly and I ended up quitting my job because of it. I’m moving to another state and have a really good job offer though so things are about to change for the better for me in a big way. Feels good to leave all that bullshit behind.

#152

@StrayMedicine

Ive seen similar stories…and have been on the recieving end of something similar…its almost like the uptick in these occurences is coordinated…really wierd. But anyways…

Word of advice dont get indoctrinated into the red pill or other similar schools of thought…it wont provide any answers…

Because honestly when things like this happen its either about emotional revenge.

Or sometimes people will screw up somebody elses relationships and life because they envy their life.

So yeah…

Dont get bent out of shape…

You know the meme “this could be us, but you playing”…

Remember She fucked up by deciding to play you…dont dwell on someone elses stupidity.

#153

Hey thank you for that

Yeah no fuck red pill bs lol, I’ll always be a feminist

It’s difficult… honestly hate the whole situation but I’m done feeding her ego…
I’ve been trying to tell myself more an more that everyone has something to offer, an to try to stop viewing people in ‘black and white’ like a lot of BPD individuals do, but it’s also good to remember not to give a fuck and realize her opinions ultimately don’t matter because she’ll have nothing to do with my life from now on

hard to be that zen lol but yeah slowly am giving less of a fuck

There’s been a bit of a wakeup call that I need to get some of my shit together, but the thing is I’m actually trying… it isn’t to ‘get anyone back’ because that ship long sailed and I know that’s also unhealthy. I just want to offer more to whoever I’m involved with moving forward

I also need to be way more on my shit about recognizing narcissistic abuse and women who use me to fill a void for emotional support…
BPD fucking sucks and it’s very common for people with it to attract narcissists… and I’m so used to dealing with it that I almost view emotional abuse and manipulation as something I deserve a lot of the time…

I’m ok with being alone. What I hate is being discarded like I’m not worth anything after all this time…

I’ll get to the point where I stop caring eventually, just my view of myself isn’t the greatest rn so it’s hard not to…

She made some very classist remarks to me one of the last times I saw her, but doesn’t realize I’m actually being given a very significant foot up shortly, so that feels good. She doesn’t need to know or deserve to.

#154

In the future stand up for yourself if someone tries to subject you to narcissistic behavior…

I hate to say it but big dick energy is the only thing that keeps narcissists and narcissistic behavior in check…

bbc earth is evidence…more specifically…look at lions vs hyenas or lions vs other lions.

#155

Yeah, honestly kinda feel like if I stood my ground with certain things it wouldn’t have ended that way.
When I originally cut things off with her she came back around because I showed that I didn’t need her.
It is what it is. I was ostracized at the end because I was chasing her.
If she wants to see into my life on social media she can, but she won’t be a part of it.

#156

The more I think about it, I’m actually at a really good place rn. This experience has motivated me a lot to make some really positive changes, and feels like I just regained self confidence in a major way earlier tonight. Sometimes you forget who you really are if you aren’t around someone who has known you well for a long time.

#158

I dont like online dating…i feel like im a cold calling salesperson asking strangers to give a fuck about my existence…

Also the paralysis of too many choices. And im not doing long distance.

Also Instagram model influencers…and onlyfans…and other stuff…kind of ruins expectations and interactions with real people…by causing people to have unrealistic ideas, expectations, and standards…

These instagram models are the easy route that enables you to revel in your own mediocrity.

I mean good luck finding gwenyth paltrow lookalikes to indulge your needs for huggs when youve got the woman that likes you for you…but you friendzone her because she doesnt fit your mold of being gwenyth paltrow.

And if you do find a paltrow…good luck sealing the deal…because a paltrow has way more options than you and theres no guarantee that your even paltrows type…so your kind of shooting yourself in the foot…

Moral of this is be real with yourself.